Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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