he wants to bone in the snuggie
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I touched a dick in church today
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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