wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
