I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
