Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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