And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
