wakey wakey hands off snakey
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
