If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
