Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
