dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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