i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
