Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
