Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
