Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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