yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
