i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
