Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
