A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
