What a fucking waste of an outfit
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
