good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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