I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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