Small penises have feelings too.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
