What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
