hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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