You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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