he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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