Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
