The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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