i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
