I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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