He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
