...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
