i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
