goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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