I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize