tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
