you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
