there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
