what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
