i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
