If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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