I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i think i just lost a toe
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
