Already got asked if we're dating
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
