I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
