The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
