just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't deserve a penis
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
