Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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