Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
