There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
