This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
