we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
