she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
